Staying True To Yourself in a Relationship
Sometimes when you’re in a relationship, you can start to forget who you really are. These 4 tips can help you stay true to yourself.
Have Personal Time:
Just because you live with your partner does not mean you have to be together all the time. It’s not healthy to be around one person 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Having alone time can help keep the spark alive and allow you and your partner to miss one another.
Keep Up With Your Hobbies:
It’s common for couples to have similar interests and hobbies. At the same time, you can’t let your partner’s hobbies stop you from participating in your own.
Spending your afternoon finishing a painting or reading a story doesn’t mean you don’t want to be with your partner. It just means you have other interests, and that’s okay!
Be Honest:
When you’re in a relationship, it’s very important, to be honest with yourself and your partner. Here’s an example. Let’s say your partner asks you to move in, but you don’t think you’re ready. Don’t put off telling them how you feel. Even if you think the news may upset them, you have to be honest. This helps you continually adjust the relationship to keep it running well.
Say No:
Loving your partner doesn’t mean you have to do everything they want to do. It is completely okay for partners to disagree and have different ideas. If your partner ever asks you to do something you aren’t comfortable with, don’t be afraid to tell them. They will never know how you feel unless you’re honest.
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Tips For Teens: How To Change Your Mindset During Coronavirus
Accept Your Feelings:
No one ever said being a teen was easy. Everything from grades to friends to family can be a lot. Coronavirus is bringing on a whole new set of challenges for teens all over the world. Teens can no longer go to school, see their friends, or even attend prom.
No matter what you’re feeling right now, go ahead and feel it. Avoiding your feelings will only prolong them. Feelings are not facts and are nothing to be ashamed of.
Control What You Can:
There are so many things in life right now out of our control. We can’t control what’s happening in the world or when things will get “back to normal.”
But we can control our thoughts and actions. If social media brings on stress, cut back on your screen time.
Or, if you’re struggling to complete an assignment, reach out to your teacher and see if there is anything they can do to help.
Say Goodbye To Perfectionism:
Social media is a fantastic way to keep in touch with friends and family all over the world. However, it can also open up the perfectionism and comparison door. Most people tend to spotlight their best moments on social media. But at the end of the day, you never know what someone else is going through. None of us are perfect.
Practice Gratitude:
Just because one bad thing happened today doesn’t mean the entire day is ruined. When life gets busy, we can often forget to appreciate the little things.
Here’s some homework for you. Tonight before you go to bed, take just 5 minutes to practice gratitude. What went well today? Did you have a delicious dinner? Did you discover a new TV show? Did you get a good mark on a test?
There is always something to be grateful for.
You are so much stronger than you think, and we will get through this together.
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Do You Flirt with your partner?
Want to increase your relationship intimacy?
Ask, when is the last time you flirted with your partner?
Remember the honeymoon phase when you looked into each other’s eyes, shared vulnerable things about yourself, touched, kissed, and were intimate? If you want to increase your intimacy? It’s time to flirt with your partner! Flirting is part of the process that communicated I want you!
What happened to your relationship?
Life is busy, so at some point, you probably took your foot off the gas pedal and began to cruise. As a result, the little things that made your relationship extra special, such as flirting, probably stopped.
“I’m too busy!” is the mantra of our times. That’s a mistake. Time to get your mojo back!
What is flirting?
According to the Google dictionary, flirting is defined as “to behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone.” The rest is interesting, “…but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.”
Since we’re talking about flirting with your romantic partner, forget that last part. Focus on things that are about behaving as though you’re trying to attract your partner, and you’ll do okay. This is about increasing your intimacy and communicating I want you.
I know, you’re thinking, but I don’t know how to flirt? I just did a web search for “how do I flirt with my spouse” and received 2.7 million hits in 0.72 seconds.
So, “I don’t know how” doesn’t work in the age of the internet.
How to flirt with your partner
Here’s the short course on how to start flirting again:
1. Do it out-of-the-blue
2. Leave a note or send a text
3. Compliment them personally
4. Touch them non-sexually – be loving
5. Touch them sexually suggestive – if appropriate
6. Look into their eyes and say something about how much you desire them
In my book, Fix Your Partner in 10 Easy Steps or Less! I break fixing relationships into two parts. 1. Stop hurting each other. 2. Start connecting. If you work on this list, you’ll be on your way to keeping the honeymoon phase going forever.
Marlon Familton, MA LMHC is a relationship counselor working to help couples navigate the choppy waters of love and romance. Author of the book, “Fix Your Partner in 10 Easy Steps or Less!”
Contact Marlon at Bellevue Family Counseling in Bellevue Washington.
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