What is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is a trait that many people possess, and while it can be a positive attribute in some situations, it can also cause depression, anxiety and other mental health issues. Perfectionists often set unattainable standards for themselves, leading to chronic procrastination, difficulty completing tasks, or giving up easily. They are highly critical of themselves and beat themselves up over anything that doesn’t meet their standards. Often times a perfectionist fears that if they don’t shoot for perfection, they will become low-achievers and not reach their goals. Sometimes, the fear of failure is so terrifying that they procrastinate because they would rather not do something at all if it can’t be done perfectly.
The Roots of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is often rooted in fear of failure or rejection of some kind, so the fear and anxiety that come with it can be overwhelming. Studies have found that symptoms of anxiety were related to perfectionism and underlying mental health disorders and associated symptoms that include OCD, social anxiety, and PTSD symptoms. Perfectionists also may have chronic avoidance tendencies and procrastination that can often make bad situations worse.
What Perfectionism Looks Like
Perfectionism can manifest in different ways, and there are several signs that someone may be struggling with perfectionism. Here are some common signs of perfectionism based on the search results:
- Having high standards and expectations for oneself and others.
- Being highly critical of oneself and others.
- Feeling a constant need for structure and organization.
- Being an all-or-nothing person, anything less than perfect is seen as a failure.
- Craving approval and validation from others.
- Feeling defensive when receiving feedback or criticism.
- Being a big procrastinator due to fear of not being able to do something perfectly.
- Being full of guilt and shame when things don’t go as planned.
- Having rigid black-or-white thinking patterns.
- Feeling pushed by fear to achieve perfection.
- Having an unrealistic view of what is achievable.
What can you do?
One way to improve perfectionism is to replace self-critical or perfectionistic thoughts with more realistic and helpful statements such as, “good enough, is enough.” It is a good idea to practice these helpful statements regularly. Even if you do not believe them right away, enough repetition will turn positive realistic thoughts into a habit and help crowd out the negative self-talk.
If your perfectionistic tendencies cause you daily distress, it is important to seek help. A therapist or counselor can help you gain new perspectives about yourself and your goals. This may reduce your levels of negative emotion and even help you achieve your goals more efficiently. In therapy, you can learn coping skills and strategies to overcome anxious thoughts and behaviors. You can also identify the root causes of your perfectionism and work to address them.
Bellevue Family Counseling uses tools such as CBT, EFT, EMDR, Lifespan Integration Therapy and other effective tools to address anxiety and perfectionism. Email us if you would like help finding the right counselor for you.Learn More
There is so much to love about the holiday season.
Usually, we get to spend quality time with family and friends, eat delicious food, and let’s not forget about all those amazing holiday movies!
As you know, this holiday season will be far different than most.
We may not be able to attend in-person events, but with a little creativity and flexibility, we can still have a fun and stress-free holiday season.
Keep on reading to learn more.
Make a Plan:
Even though family gatherings won’t be happening in person this year, planning is not off the table.
Shopping for gifts and decorating the tree sooner rather than later can prevent stress and anxiety.
No matter how prepared you are for anything in life, there will always be last-minute events that pop up and throw us off course.
Maybe your local grocery store will sell out of your favorite holiday cookies, or maybe your internet will glitch during your virtual dinner.
We know it’s easier said than done, but you have to remind yourself that life is unpredictable. When the going gets tough, try your best to be flexible.
Believe it or not, we can still keep our family traditions alive during COVID-19. We will just have to get a little creative.
You can still prepare a festive dinner, watch holiday movies and open presents as a family.
Who knows – you can even create some new traditions!
Practice Self Care:
The holidays are typically very busy. Everything from cooking, to shopping to sending cards can be a lot to take on.
Even though the month of December can be jam-packed, we can’t forget to take care of ourselves.
Getting enough sleep, practicing hobbies and eating right are key all year round and should never be put on hold.
We hope you all have a very happy holiday season and a healthy New Year.
Cheers to 2021!Learn More
“You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.” ― Roy T. Bennett
What Kind Of Person Are You?
These past several months many of us have been working and living at home basically full-time. The people we spend our time with (co-workers, classmates and friends) have a huge impact on our thoughts and actions. Both positivity and negativity are very contagious after all.
Again, now that most of us have been spending the vast majority of our days alone, we’ve been forced to figure out what really makes us tick.
Self-reflection isn’t always easy and can often be confusing.
A great activity is the “I am someone who…” exercise.
It’s easy! All you have to do is finish the sentence “I someone who…”
Remember, this activity is for you and only you. Take all the time you need and be authentic. Sometimes our thoughts and ideas can get lost – exactly why writing them down on paper can be so helpful. It also makes it easier to look back and on them and see how much you’ve thrived.
How Do You Practice Self-Care?
We all have our own recharge style. Some of us need a long conversation with a friend, while others need some alone time.
Take some to think about what activities have boosted your mood and which have not these past few months.
Self-care is more about relaxing, sleeping well, and eating right; it’s also about doing what makes you happy!
Taking care of ourselves is just as important as taking care of others.
How Do You Remain Calm In Frustrating Situations?
Some of us are naturally more patient than others. But the good news is, patience is very learnable. You just have to want it!
Patience is all about being calm in frustrating situations and changing your mindset.
Quarantine has completely transformed our typical day to day routines and our overall lifestyle.
You may not have all the answers right now. You just have to remind yourself that you are doing the best you can with the resources you have.Learn More
Are you experiencing brain fog?
Are you having a difficult time getting things done?
Are you struggling to get motivated?
If so, you may be experiencing burnout.
What Causes Burnout:
Everything from telehealth meetings to working from home without a change of scenery can be contributing factors to burnout.
Burnout Vs. Stress:
Keep in mind that burnout and stress are not the same thing. Those experiencing burnout often feel stuck, tired and confused.
Some also may experience physical symptoms such as headaches or fatigue.
The good news is, burnout doesn’t last forever and is easy to get out of if you put the work in.
Understand The Why:
Take some time to think about why you’re experiencing burnout. Did you get into a fight with a loved one? Are you overworked? Are you feeling lost? Once you have a better understanding behind the why, you can work towards a solution.
Understanding a problem is one thing. Actually coming up with a solution is something else. Sometimes certain problems can feel very intimidating and impossible to solve. But just because you feel something, doesn’t make it true.
If you’re having a difficult time thinking rationally, there are several things you can do such as go on a walk, take a nap or listen to an inspirational Podcast.
Take Care Of Yourself
We get it. Saying no can be tough. But when you’re experiencing burnout you have to take care of yourself before taking care of others. Even if that means turning down an invitation or opportunity.Learn More