Going through a divorce is an emotional and stressful time for the entire family.
It’s not uncommon for the children to feel sad, angry, confused, or even like it’s their fault.
Keep in mind that you as a parent may not be able to completely prevent your child from experiencing pain. But there are a handful of things you can do to make the experience easier for them. Keep on reading to learn more.
Sit down with your children and make sure they understand that you love them just as much as you did before, and nothing will ever change that. No matter what happens in life, they will always be your number one priority. Even though the home may feel different – it will still be full of love.
Consistency and Structure:
Children thrive on structure and routine. So many changes in a short period of time can be very overwhelming and bring on anxiety.
Little things like preparing the same meals and sticking to a solid homework routine can help things feel like a little more normal.
Let Them Know They Are Not To Blame:
Even if you tell your child the divorce was not their fault, they may not fully believe it.
It may take some time for them to understand and accept what’s happening. Even though it may be scary, don’t be afraid to be open and honest with them about the relationship. That way, they can fully understand why they are not to blame.
Children pick up on body language and conversations. They can sense a lot more than you may think. Whether you realize it or not, your thoughts and actions can be very contagious. Although it may be tough, we recommend trying your best to remain strong and positive.
Remember, you don’t need to go through this alone. Your friends, family and therapy, can help you move past this difficult chapter, which in turn can help you and your kids.Learn More
Wondering how you can help increase your child’s confidence? Well, you’re in the right place! Keep on reading to learn more.
The Comparison Trap
Remind your child that they have something special to offer that no one else has.
It’s common for children to compare themselves to their classmates, friends or even siblings. Every single person is unique and has their own journey. If your child ever forgets that, encourage them to practice gratitude and celebrate their victories!
It’s so important to take care of our mind, body and soul. Several studies show that eating well and practicing physical activity boosts confidence. What you model for your children is more powerful than what you say. Be sure you are modelling good choices.
Don’t be afraid to get the entire family involved and practice self-care as a family.
No one is perfect and we all experience setbacks.
The next time your child makes a mistake, encourage them to be kinder to themselves. We really do learn so many things throughout our childhood. All of those lessons and experiences will help form them into their future self.
Doing scary things is a great way to gain confidence. No matter what you want to achieve, you may never be 100% ready. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start. In life, you never fail. You either win or you learn.Learn More
If you want your child to eat their vegetables, guess what? You have to eat your vegetables first. As a parent, what you model is 10,000 times more powerful than what you say. Want respect? Give respect. Yes, it is so much faster and easier to tell your child what to do. Yet, if you expect them to “do as you say, not as you do”, what you might actually be teaching them is how to be hypocritical.
Of course, you want to raise respectful children who become respectful teens who become respectful adults. Respectful children and teens are a joy to have around! To foster this in your child, work on offering respect to them and to others (they’ll notice), this allows you to expect it in return.
Respect Raises Self-Esteem
Being respectful to your child builds a sense of self-value and raises their self-esteem. When they feel worthy of being treated fairly, when they feel worthy of being respected, they want that for you and others around them.
Model what you want to see from them
- Say “please” and “thank you” your child will
- Keep your promises, they will learn to keep their promises
- When you are upset, yet keep your voice calm, your child will learn to do the same
A child will only give you the same level of respect you give them.
If you’re trying to navigate a problem, ask yourself, “what is it that I want to model?” You’ll find this is a great way to teach them your values and to be respectful to you and others.
As a parent, if you’re finding it difficult to model your values, or are unsure about your techniques, parenting coaching might help. If your child needs some extra help, child therapy might be the ticket. If they’re an adolescent, teen counseling might get you and them on track.
For teen counseling, Erin Manhardt is a Youth & Family therapist at Bellevue Family Counseling. Erin is passionate about working with youths who are struggling in relationships and school. Contact Erin at Bellevue Counseling in Bellevue Washington.Learn More