Going through a divorce is an emotional and stressful time for the entire family.
It’s not uncommon for the children to feel sad, angry, confused, or even like it’s their fault.
Keep in mind that you as a parent may not be able to completely prevent your child from experiencing pain. But there are a handful of things you can do to make the experience easier for them. Keep on reading to learn more.
Sit down with your children and make sure they understand that you love them just as much as you did before, and nothing will ever change that. No matter what happens in life, they will always be your number one priority. Even though the home may feel different – it will still be full of love.
Consistency and Structure:
Children thrive on structure and routine. So many changes in a short period of time can be very overwhelming and bring on anxiety.
Little things like preparing the same meals and sticking to a solid homework routine can help things feel like a little more normal.
Let Them Know They Are Not To Blame:
Even if you tell your child the divorce was not their fault, they may not fully believe it.
It may take some time for them to understand and accept what’s happening. Even though it may be scary, don’t be afraid to be open and honest with them about the relationship. That way, they can fully understand why they are not to blame.
Children pick up on body language and conversations. They can sense a lot more than you may think. Whether you realize it or not, your thoughts and actions can be very contagious. Although it may be tough, we recommend trying your best to remain strong and positive.
Remember, you don’t need to go through this alone. Your friends, family and therapy, can help you move past this difficult chapter, which in turn can help you and your kids.Lear More
Going through a breakup is never easy – even if you were the one who initiated it.
The first step is working to disconnect emotionally from the relationship. This will help you be more emotionally available to date. The loss of the other relationship is going to involve grief to work through. Forget about the old, “just let it go”. Recovery involves accepting whatever loss there is and finding an area of personal growth to embrace. These will help you make a good next choice. This process can be very therapeutic.
Then, take your time to think about how you contributed to the relationship not working. This is your learning to not carry forward. For sure, also think about how the relationship made you a better person.
When To Start Dating Again
When you start thinking you’re ready to jump back into the dating pool, consider the following questions. You may be ready in a week, a month, or a year. It is completely up to you. You may not know the answer right now, and that’s okay! Take your time, this is a process.
How Does The Thought of Going On a Date Make You Feel?
It’s very normal to feel nervous before going on a first date. But there are two types of nerves:
There are excited nerves that often feel like butterflies – which is generally a good sign.
There are anxious nerves too, which may be a sign you’re not quite ready. If the thought of going on a date makes you feel uneasy, your body might be telling you, you’re not ready yet, or the person isn’t right.
Ironically the body sensations of anxiety and excitement are very close! Take time to be clear about which one you are actually experiencing.
Why Am I Going On This Date?
That void you feel after a breakup can be quite painful. It is helpful to engage in solo activities and do things you love. This can help you find your independent self and be in a position where you want someone versus needing them. Get back into older hobbies, discover new ones, or spend time with friends and family.
If you are going on a date because you genuinely want to get to know a person, that’s great!
If you are going on a date because you feel obligated, you may not be ready.
Are You Looking For Validation?
Relationships deliver comfort, connection, belongingness, and support. It’s normal for our partner to feel like our other half.
Once that honeymoon ends, it’s common to believe you need to date someone else in order to feel attractive. If you’re only looking to date to get validation, you may not be ready to open your heart to someone.
Take time to understand your thoughts and feelings. Getting clear about yourself and what you want or need will help you make better decisions when you work to pick a new partner worthy of you!Lear More
Back-to-school season is always a challenging time for kids and parents alike. No more free summer schedules of sleeping in. It’s time to wake up early, get back into a routine and head off to school. Except this year, school will look different right from the start, as learning will be done virtually for most kids.
There are some things you can do as a parent, to help your child get into a routine steady and make sure your children’s learning is not too disrupted, especially for the first days back.
Create a Consistent Routine
One of the best ways to get started right, is to create and follow a consistent daily routine. This will build clear expectations of what’s next and minimize distractions. A routine will also help turn transitions into habits over time. Habits are things kids can do faster without much push back. The routine has a start time, breaks, lunch, recess and an ending. This type of detail will help them transition back to in-person school, when it happens.
Create a Dedicated Work Space – Not Their Bed
Having a place set up specifically for school time, including supplies for their lessons, will help them settle into that consistent routine. When they are at the desk or table and surrounded by the things their brain associated with school, children will shift into thinking about school. Just like when we go to work, we shift into work mode. Their bed is already associated with relaxation and sleep. This is why their bed is a poor choice for school work.
Make the Schedule Visual
Once you figure out what the daily routine looks like, make a chart, use pictures, make it a visual experience so they can learn to follow it. This gives them a resource to consult instead of simply asking you. When you are inevitably asked “what’s next?”, your reply can be, “I’m not sure. Have you checked the schedule?” This is a solid step towards helping children manage their own time and schedules as well as learning to solve their own problems.
When it is time for a break, make sure that break is a ‘move your body’ break, not a screen break. Kids are bouncy balls of potential energy waiting to bounce. Sitting for hours in front of a computer is far from ideal. So when it’s break time, get them outside to run, jump and burn off that excess energy. That will help them manage their fidgety bodies better during the virtual lessons.
Put in some framework work up front to build a routine, then help your children follow it. This effort up front will help make the rest of a difficult year easier.Lear More
Wondering how you can help increase your child’s confidence? Well, you’re in the right place! Keep on reading to learn more.
The Comparison Trap
Remind your child that they have something special to offer that no one else has.
It’s common for children to compare themselves to their classmates, friends or even siblings. Every single person is unique and has their own journey. If your child ever forgets that, encourage them to practice gratitude and celebrate their victories!
It’s so important to take care of our mind, body and soul. Several studies show that eating well and practicing physical activity boosts confidence. What you model for your children is more powerful than what you say. Be sure you are modelling good choices.
Don’t be afraid to get the entire family involved and practice self-care as a family.
No one is perfect and we all experience setbacks.
The next time your child makes a mistake, encourage them to be kinder to themselves. We really do learn so many things throughout our childhood. All of those lessons and experiences will help form them into their future self.
Doing scary things is a great way to gain confidence. No matter what you want to achieve, you may never be 100% ready. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start. In life, you never fail. You either win or you learn.Lear More
“You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.” ― Roy T. Bennett
What Kind Of Person Are You?
These past several months many of us have been working and living at home basically full-time. The people we spend our time with (co-workers, classmates and friends) have a huge impact on our thoughts and actions. Both positivity and negativity are very contagious after all.
Again, now that most of us have been spending the vast majority of our days alone, we’ve been forced to figure out what really makes us tick.
Self-reflection isn’t always easy and can often be confusing.
A great activity is the “I am someone who…” exercise.
It’s easy! All you have to do is finish the sentence “I someone who…”
Remember, this activity is for you and only you. Take all the time you need and be authentic. Sometimes our thoughts and ideas can get lost – exactly why writing them down on paper can be so helpful. It also makes it easier to look back and on them and see how much you’ve thrived.
How Do You Practice Self-Care?
We all have our own recharge style. Some of us need a long conversation with a friend, while others need some alone time.
Take some to think about what activities have boosted your mood and which have not these past few months.
Self-care is more about relaxing, sleeping well, and eating right; it’s also about doing what makes you happy!
Taking care of ourselves is just as important as taking care of others.
How Do You Remain Calm In Frustrating Situations?
Some of us are naturally more patient than others. But the good news is, patience is very learnable. You just have to want it!
Patience is all about being calm in frustrating situations and changing your mindset.
Quarantine has completely transformed our typical day to day routines and our overall lifestyle.
You may not have all the answers right now. You just have to remind yourself that you are doing the best you can with the resources you have.Lear More
Are you experiencing brain fog?
Are you having a difficult time getting things done?
Are you struggling to get motivated?
If so, you may be experiencing burnout.
What Causes Burnout:
Everything from telehealth meetings to working from home without a change of scenery can be contributing factors to burnout.
Burnout Vs. Stress:
Keep in mind that burnout and stress are not the same thing. Those experiencing burnout often feel stuck, tired and confused.
Some also may experience physical symptoms such as headaches or fatigue.
The good news is, burnout doesn’t last forever and is easy to get out of if you put the work in.
Understand The Why:
Take some time to think about why you’re experiencing burnout. Did you get into a fight with a loved one? Are you overworked? Are you feeling lost? Once you have a better understanding behind the why, you can work towards a solution.
Understanding a problem is one thing. Actually coming up with a solution is something else. Sometimes certain problems can feel very intimidating and impossible to solve. But just because you feel something, doesn’t make it true.
If you’re having a difficult time thinking rationally, there are several things you can do such as go on a walk, take a nap or listen to an inspirational Podcast.
Take Care Of Yourself
We get it. Saying no can be tough. But when you’re experiencing burnout you have to take care of yourself before taking care of others. Even if that means turning down an invitation or opportunity.Lear More
It’s recommended that teens get around 8 – 9.5 hours of sleep each night. However, the vast majority of teens end up getting much less.
Sleep deprivation in teens can impact their grades, weaken their immune system, and even bring on depression or anxiety.
If you’re worried your teen isn’t getting enough sleep, here’s what to do!
Make Their Bedroom a Tech-Free Zone:
It’s not uncommon for teens to check their phone or social media accounts in the middle of the night when they can’t sleep. It may feel like the best idea at the moment, but that is far from the truth.
Eventually, they’ll need to learn how to wind down and fall back asleep on their own. If their devices are too distracting, encourage them to turn them off before bed, or even place them in a different room.
Stay Away From The Caffeine:
We all respond to caffeine slightly differently. However, a good rule of thumb is to avoid caffeine after 3 PM. The effects of caffeine can last for many hours and make it that much harder for your teen to fall asleep.
Of course, we’re all human, and things do pop up from time to time. But maintaining a consistent bedtime routine can be very helpful.
Encourage your teen to step away from the television and get ready for bed around the same time every night. Several studies have shown that going to sleep at the same time every night can help us fall asleep faster and prevent tossing and turning.Lear More
Accept Your Feelings:
No one ever said being a teen was easy. Everything from grades to friends to family can be a lot. Coronavirus is bringing on a whole new set of challenges for teens all over the world. Teens can no longer go to school, see their friends, or even attend prom.
No matter what you’re feeling right now, go ahead and feel it. Avoiding your feelings will only prolong them. Feelings are not facts and are nothing to be ashamed of.
Control What You Can:
There are so many things in life right now out of our control. We can’t control what’s happening in the world or when things will get “back to normal.”
But we can control our thoughts and actions. If social media brings on stress, cut back on your screen time.
Or, if you’re struggling to complete an assignment, reach out to your teacher and see if there is anything they can do to help.
Say Goodbye To Perfectionism:
Social media is a fantastic way to keep in touch with friends and family all over the world. However, it can also open up the perfectionism and comparison door. Most people tend to spotlight their best moments on social media. But at the end of the day, you never know what someone else is going through. None of us are perfect.
Just because one bad thing happened today doesn’t mean the entire day is ruined. When life gets busy, we can often forget to appreciate the little things.
Here’s some homework for you. Tonight before you go to bed, take just 5 minutes to practice gratitude. What went well today? Did you have a delicious dinner? Did you discover a new TV show? Did you get a good mark on a test?
There is always something to be grateful for.
You are so much stronger than you think, and we will get through this together.Lear More