Do You Flirt?
When is the last time you flirted . . . with your partner?
Remember the honeymoon when you looked into each other’s eyes, shared vulnerable things about yourself, touched, kissed, were intimate. And, you flirted! Flirting was part of the process that communicated I want you!
Life is busy, so at some point, you probably took your foot off the gas pedal and began to cruise and as a result the little things that made your relationship extra special, such as flirting, stopped.
“I’m too busy!” is the mantra of our times. That’s a mistake. Time to get your mojo back!
First, what is flirting? According to the Google dictionary, flirting is defined as “to behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone.” The rest is interesting, “…but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.”
Since we’re talking about flirting with your romantic partner, I’d forget that last part. Focus on things that are about, behaving as though you’re trying to attract your partner, and you’ll do okay.
I know, you’re thinking, but I don’t know how to flirt? I just searched “how do I flirt with my spouse” and received 2.7 million hits in 0.72 seconds.
So, “I don’t know how” doesn’t work in the age of the internet.
Here’s the short course on how to start flirting again:
1. Do it out-of-the-blue
2. Leave a note or send a text
3. Compliment them personally
4. Touch them non-sexually – be loving
5. Touch them sexually suggestive – if appropriate
6. Look into their eyes and say something about how much you desire them
In my book, Fix Your Partner in 10 Easy Steps or Less! I break fixing relationships into two parts. 1. Stop hurting each other. 2. Start connecting. If you work on this list, you’ll be on your way to keeping the honeymoon phase going forever.
Marlon Familton, MA LMHC is a relationship counselor working to help couples navigate the choppy waters of love and romance. Author of the book, “Fix Your Partner in 10 Easy Steps or Less!”
Contact Marlon at Bellevue Family Counseling in Bellevue Washington.